XIAOLIN TEMPLE GONE INSANE! FUNNY!
by RaixKim4eva
Summary: A SERIES OF ONESHOTS WHERE THE MONKS OF THE XIAOLIN TEMPLE PLUS DOJO DECIDE TO ANNOY RAIMUNDO! WARNING: EVERYONE HAS GONE INSANE IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE INSANITY AND EXTREME HUMOUR DON'T READ...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED... SOME RAIxKIM! EVERYONE IS OOC! CH 4 U
1. OMI!

"Raimundo Raimundo guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Omi ran up to Raimundo eagerly.

"What?!" Raimundo snapped.

"Guess!"

"You've finally realized that you have a huge ego, Have a head the size of a super dome and you can't get slang right." Raimundo replied flatly.

"No…Master Fung thinks you're a pansy boyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Omi yelled before running away.

"What the-" Raimundo was seriously confused. _Pansy boy?_

Omi returned. "You know my friend Kimiko? Well, she's seriously in love with you. I don't know why, 'cause I'm SO much hotter than you...figuratively." he added, noticing Raimundo's temper flaring.

"Omi, get the HELL OUT OF MY FACE!" Raimundo shouted.

"Well, there's no need to yell!" Omi scolded. "Besides, you're the one stalking me. I mean, I know I'm drop-dead gorgeous, but really. It's kinda creepy."

"I'M NOT STALKING YOU, I LIVE WITH YOU!"

"That's what they all say." Omi muttered. "Hey, are you a pedophile? Like Michael Jackson?"

"What? No!"

"Sing something, Raimundo Jackson!"

"NO!"

"Okay! A-B-C, easy as 1-2-3, simple as do-re-mi, A-B-C, 1-2-3, baby you and me!"

"..."

"Did ya like it?"

"..."

"Want more?"

"..."

"I'll take that a yes...I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky-" Omi paused.

Raimundo stormed away.

"How about Bob Marley? Buffalo soldier-" Omi began, but was silenced by a boot flying at his head. Picking it up, "Hey, Raimundo, I got your boot!" he ran away, singing, "Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play, hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!"

Raimundo growled. Omi had his sanity, his boot, and by the end of the day would probably have his other shoe too.


	2. KIMIKO!

"Rai-bear!" Kimiko ran up behind Raimundo and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh no, not again." Raimundo slapped his forehead.

Kimiko ignored his obvious annoyance. "You need a hug!"

"No, I don't."

"Don't you love me?"

"I don't love."

"Quit being such a pussy and kiss me!"

"No...Are you crazy?!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"I love your hair!"

"..."

"That's a compliment!"

"..."

"Are you mute?"

"..."

"Then you can't say no!" Kimiko kissed him.

Raimundo froze.

"Ha ha, you like me!" Kimiko danced in a circle around him before running off with Omi, Who threw a rock at his head.

"What the flip is going on today?"


	3. CLAY!

"Greeting, Rai." Clay wore a devious smirk.

"What do _you_ want?!"

"Tsk tsk. So rude." Clay shook his head. "Listen, Rai, I need you to do me. . ."

". . .?!"

". . .a favor."

"No."

"It's very simple - even _you_ can comprehend it."

Rai sighed. "All right then, what?"

"Point to your head and say Mark Twain's initials."

"Uh. . .which head?" a bamboozled and unsuspecting Rai asked.

"You've got one head how hard can it be?"

". . ."

Rai thought for a moment

He obliged. "M.T."

Clay cackled. "How true your head _is_ empty."

". . .?" Before Rai had time to respond, Clay ran away, laughing manically.

". . . At least no one else saw that. . ." he muttered.

How wrong he was. Clay paid a nerd to secretly film the entire thing and post it on You Tube that night.

"Clay!!!" he yelled the next morning once he realized he was a laughingstock on the World Wide Web.

"What is it, M.T head?" He asked innocently.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!"

"Okay. Whatever you say."

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"You really need to work on that anger problem."

"WHAT ANGER PROBLEM?!"

"That one." Clay dumped a bucket of gasoline on the angry Shoku warrior.

Raimundo began to flare up with anger.

"Careful Rai. If you ignite, you'll explode he taunted

"Oh you're right," Rai said as Clay ran away laughing before he had time to realize what he'd done.

"Wait a minute…I CAN'T IGNITE," He screamed as he stomped off to possibly have a shower and find Clay.


	4. MASTER FUNG!

"Raimundo, have some tea," Master Fung demanded.

"No."

"It's good for your health."

"Maybe I want to die young."

"If you don't consume the beautiful steaming liquid I'll sing Simon and Garfunkel songs all day. . ."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Master Fung began to sing the ultimate annoy-Raimundo song: 'The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)'. "Slow down, you move too fast, you've got to make the mornign last, just kickin' down the cobblestones, lookin' for fun and feelin' groovy. . .badadadadadada. . .feelin' groovy. . ."

"NOOOOO!!! Not metaphorical 70's stoner music! I don't understand it!" Raimundo whined. "And WHY do they start talking to a lamppost? It makes no sense."

"If you have to ask, you'll never be able to understand it." Master Fung mused. "Tea?"

"No!"

Master Fung sighed. Then I guess I'll just have to sing some cheesy pop. . .Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover, but don't be my friend, you can be my bad boy, but understand that I don't need you in my life again. . ."

"NOT CASCADA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! My precious ears!"

"You whine too much young one." "Tea?"

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

"Don't make me sing…CHEESY KIDS SHOW TUNES!"

"No not that anything but that NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Tea?"

"Not what I meant when I said anything!" Rai said crossing his arms in defiance

"You leave me no choice…Who lives in a pineapple under the sea (Sponge bob Square pants) Absorbent and yellow and porous is he (Sponge bob Square pants) If nautical nonsense be something you wish (Sponge bob Square pants) Then-

"I'll drink the freeking tea just shut the hell up master!" Master Fung smiled and handed the steaming hot cup to his student.

"It's fun to torture Raimundo," He said walking out the door leaving his student with his "steaming cup of goodness"


	5. DOJO!

"I am the greatest, I am the greatest, I am the greatest, yeah!" Dojo sang.

Rai covered his ears. Nothing's worse than Dojo singing . . . except _maybe_ Dojo dancing . . . let's hope he doesn't start. . .

Much to everyone's intense disappointment, he began to do the robot.

"Rai is a loser, Rai is a loser, Rai is a loser, yeah!" Dojo's horribly repetetive song and dance continued. He stopped doing the robot and began the electric slide.

Rai slapped his forehead. "Are you drunk?"

"Drunk on sea kid yo ho,"

". . .you're a dragon you can't be a pirate,"

"Anything is possible when you dreeeeeeeeeeeeam."

"Yep, you're drunk."

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!" Dojo suddenly got the feeling that he was sexy and started to seduce Rai

Rai shaded his eyes from the delusional man-whore who seriously needed to get laid. _This is so not my day!_


End file.
